(email me if you’ve forgotten/lost the link)

What a sandwich we just had, I’m positively joyous after eating it – that’s a good sandwich if it has that effect.

It’s inspired by the tuna-salad style recipe from Vegan Vittles by Jo Stepaniak, which I absolutely love, and every veggie/vegan/food lover should have

We used 2 mini bake at home ciabattas each for this, the smallness gave them a fun burger-esque sort of appeal…

All ingredients finely chopped, minced even:

2 sticks celery

1 orange bell pepper (capsicum)

about six inches of cucumber

1 medium onion (white/green something strong basically)

3 gherkins (dill pickles)

can of chickpeas, rinsed and roughly mashed

mixed together in a large bowl with:

2 tbsp vegan mayo (I used Granovita ‘Mayola’ for this, good way of keeping the cholesterol down even if your not veggie/vegan)

2 tbsp (or to taste) good quality vinaigrette

1tbsp of the vinegar from the gherkin (dill pickle) jar

generous squeeze of Branston ‘Mustard Pickle’

2 tsp wholegrain mustard

1 tbsp sweet paprika

Freshly cracked black pepper & Herbamare to taste

2 large vine plum tomatoes, thickly sliced and heated on a plate in the oven used for the ciabattas after you’ve turned it off (with a liberal sprinkle of salt) (these act like the ‘meat’ of the sandwich).

Large handful of shredded iceberg lettuce (enough for the four small ciabattas or two large or whatever).

Assemble while the ciabattas are still warm and make mmm noises the whole way through eating them!

I’m going to write a little bit over at t’other place in a little while if you want to check it out.

Two glorious days of driving and shopping and driving and shopping. The shopping was all food related. I’ll explain that some other time, nothing bad, but would take me too long to explain now.

I’ve been having an interesting time. In my head, which is where all the interesting stuff usually happens. I picked up a book in the library a couple of weeks ago which gave me something to chew on, it’s called The Secret. I had heard of it before, and I’m not keen on the commercial buzz off the book, but the ideas are still interesting, particularly if you’ve got a creative little mind like mine.

You know, I need to write something on the other blog, most of what’s going around in my head at the moment isn’t really for general consumption. Please let me know if you need a reminder about the addy for the other spot, my email address is in the sidebar if you’ve forgot it too.

I’ve read a few more interesting books since last we spoke, one of the most interesting being The China Study…anyone heard of it? If you haven’t, I urge you to look for it at your local library.

The kitties are all fine. A little miffed at our absences this past few days, but happy to take it out on us by sleeping on our laps all evening in the kitchen. They weren’t always allowed in here, but we’ve had to relax the rules now that we spend so much time in here catching the last of the evening sun. We bought an AV sender today as well, so now we have our satellite channels in here as well as in the sitting room. The remote works as well, and all with no wires, my favourite kind of technology, wire-free.

Anyway, I’m knackered. Time for sleep.

Take care all, x

…and then realised I should share. They’re written for me, so they aren’t very technical or fancy looking, they are just an aid memoir, or whatever the phrase/spelling is. I made the second one yesterday, from odds and ends in the fridge and the first for myself this evening, it’s inspired by a suggestion from Rose Elliot to put some chopped walnuts on to buttered pasta with/out cream. We both loved them anyway…

walnut & creme fraiche and tofu (for one)

quick cook pasta
half tub of creme fraiche
1/2 large garlic clove
2 slices of onion
handful of tofu, diced tiny
handful of walnuts, diced tiny
big knob of butter

while the pasta is cooking, lightly fry the rings/dice/whatever in groundnut oil, throwing in the sliced garlic after a few seconds.
Add the half tub of creme fraiche
add the tiny diced tofu
leave on a low heat

Stick in some of the water from the pasta to loosen the creme sauce. Put butter on the pasta after you drain it.

Eat with fresh crusty rolls from the oven!

***********************

pasta salad

half a tub of creme fraiche
glob of tesco finest vinaigrette
tsp of nooch (nutritional yeast)
glob of brown rice syrup to sweeten (or honey, or agave or whatever)
pile of quick cook pasta (cold)..or whatever (enough for four bowls of salad)

1 can chickpeas

1 tomato, diced
1 carrot, grated
1/2 yellow pepper, small dice
small chunk of white onion, diced
2 spring onions sliced on the bias

plenty of salt and pepper

serve with crispy diced tofu and crusty rolls

I read Allan Carr’s Easy Way for Women to Stop Smoking on Saturday. All of it, in one sitting, breaking for dinner and the two cigarettes he insisted I should have while I read it (I was technically supposed to have smoked the whole way through but after three weeks off them they tasted like shit, to put it mildly). I picked it up in the library that afternoon before I left because I knew the old sticking point, that which has always made it Impossible for me to stop, was back, and wasn’t going to let go easily. I thought, sure why not, I’ll try this.  I had resisted this book for a long time thinking that some tricky imagery or a good argument wouldn’t get past my bullshit sensors.

The old sticking point is that when it comes down to it, full of drink and rearing up like a demon full of music and wild thoughts and emotions, the dark beastie in my soul wants a long, burning, smokey fixxxx. And it must be hot, and it must be dark and it must be pleasurable. And it nearly always is when I’ve had drink. Because not smoking that much, the rest of the time I’m fairly aware, up to a point, that it’s making me feel slightly ill. Mr Carr explained things to me. I wont relay them here, he’s better at it than me. He solved my biggest problem, the fear of spending the rest of my life missing that pleasure, that ‘treat’. The fear that has always, infuriatingly, tripped up all of my past attempts (which frankly don’t number that many, I don’t kid myself).

I got incredibly angry and upset this evening about the governments latest gouging of my tiny salary. My mind threw up the usual image and physical memory of having a ciggie, for a second it said ‘time for a cigarette’, but quick as a flash I said, ‘no, I don’t want one’. Just like that. No arguing, no convincing. The whole thing lasted approximately three seconds.

You don’t need willpower to quit when you follow his argument. I cannot understand why this book isn’t on every doctor’s table on the planet. Why it isn’t fired out of canons outside the doors of newsagents.

I don’t gush about things I’m likely to have to take back and look foolish for. But I will gush about what that man wrote, and what he did for so many people. Incredible.

I don’t know what it is, but every Spring, without fail, I start making smoothies. Banana, chocolate chip, vanilla, strawberry last night. Sounds like to much? No way.

Take one beenaner (banana), a good squeeze of Agave, or honey or maple syrup, something sweet anyway, a drop of vanilla essence, a big glop or two of strawberry yoghurt, a few scoops of frozen vanilla&chocolate chip yoghurt, about a pint glass of milk (try some soy instead of cow milk for this, it’s a good way to get it into you without ruining your tea, if that’s how you see it, which most people seem to, not me though) and whiz it all up in your blendulator. Serve to an unsuspecting partner/friend/whatever and bask in the deliciousness of good deeds and tasty drink. The trick with this is to hold it in your mouth for a second to let the choc chips melt too – mmmm….

It’s not too bad for you either, considering it’s soy milk and frozen yoghurt rather than ice cream and cow juice. I’m kidding, I take milk in my coffee.

I stopped smoking a little over two and a half weeks ago. I say stopped because that’s exactly what it is, I don’t think ‘give up’ works for me. Sounds too penitential. What I’m going to do when I have a drink, I don’t know. I didn’t drink last weekend because the weekend before I did have a ciggie when I was in the pub. I don’t count that as a break in the givingupness, I think it’s somewhat inevitable that I’ll want one with a drink. I’m hoping that in time I’ll get more used to not smoking so that when I have one it wont be all that appealing. It happened like that for another friend, so fingers crossed.

The reasons are simple enough. Too long thinking ‘I shouldn’t be doing this’. I had cut it down to about two in the evening and maybe three in the pub, possibly more if it was a mad night. When I say ’shouldn’t be…’ I mean, whenever I have a cold/chest infection, I can’t smoke. I can’t abide by the idea of drawing smoke into infected lungs. I wouldn’t blow smoke into an open wound, so why would I blow it into my skinless, exposed innards? The cognitive dissonance of knowing this, but still enjoying them has gotten too much for me in this past long while. It has come to the point where the only ones I really truly enjoy are the ones when I’ve a few drinks on me – obviously because the drink waves a magic ‘don’t worry about it’ wand and allows me to just enjoy it.

The other reason is that I just don’t want to spend the money any more. I’m down to the crappy cheap fags I buy up the north and truthfully, I just don’t enjoy them that much and there is No Way I’m spending the 7 or 8 euros it costs for the nice ones in the shop down the road. Also, on a moral note, I guess I’m not all that happy to support the smoking industry either.

One last thing. Going vegetarian showed me something about myself in very sharp focus – I gave up sausages and rashers – I loved them so much it nearly made me cry at the thought of doing it. I thought I’d never be able to do without. They were so bound up in my emotional language of comfort and homeliness and so on. Now, I wouldn’t even think about eating either of them. I sincerely dislike the smell of them (they have a smell you don’t notice till you don’t eat any meat at all or be around the smell of it cooking for a good while, I wont explain further), the idea of eating them does nothing for me at all. I found other/new foods that did the job, my whole style of cooking has changed to be healthier and tastier than it used to be. Basically – I gave up something I never thought I could and now I don’t give it a second thought, not only that, but I’m ten times happier with the way I eat now. I have more energy, I feel better generally, I have more motivation, a more positive outlook etc. I don’t mean to sound preachy, I’m just trying to explain that something which I thought I couldn’t give up was actually easy to give up, and the alternative was so much more pleasant.

So, if I could do that, I can do this. I can give myself a chance to see what it’s like to not smoke rather than say ‘oh no, a life without treats’, which is what I thought before going veggie, because now I know that in giving something up you often discover lots of perks and benefits and realise it’s not as horrible as you imagine it will be by any standards. I can give myself thirty quid a month to spend on cooking utensils and herbals teas, cookery books whatever too. My little frivolous congratulations money each month.

Having said all of that, it is a pain in the butt to have to do it. Why can’t they just make cancer-free ciggies? That would be one of my three wishes actually. Lol.

I’m allergic to the internet lately, it seems. Enjoying taking a break from it. Reading a lot. Just got the new cable for the laptop so perhaps I will be more inclined to note my thoughts here (we’ve been without the use of the laptop for what, a month now?). Or perhaps I’ll keep saying ‘just one more page…just to the end of this chapter’ for another week. Who knows.

On the second of Kathy Reichs’ books…so deliciously page-turnery and satisfying.

Hope we’re all enjoying the long evenings.

Nighty night all, x