And now I am ready for my evening to begin.

The litter tray is cleaned, the fire is lit, a bucket of coal just brought in, the cats fed. All is well with my little corner of the universe. The sitting room and kitchen are tidy, the things brought in from the car, my tea is nestling, waiting for me, in a spot in the chaos on the mantle piece. The large gold shiny Santa decoration (like a plastic plaque) is sitting there too, somewhat awkwardly, tucked in behind the painting of horses I never got around to changing since we moved in here. A little piece of my childhood Christmas I got to take home with me today.

Benny is still in Meath, at his Dads and stuffed with dinner as I type. I had a lovely few days with my parents, reading, eating vol au vonts, admiring all the decorations I’ve enjoyed since I was tiny. I finished Something to Tell You (and really enjoyed it) and got a good chunk of Night Watch read (yup, from the films I love so much, translated from the original Russian novel). I drank lots of lovely red wine, but I didn’t eat too much. The craziest I went was last night on some Reece’s peanut butter something or others, I had four, it wasn’t enough. It’s never enough.

So now, my little kitten-boy is purring like a diesel engine beside me, overjoyed to have me back. My Godmother looked after them and as ever, they’re seriously unstressed. A cat lover to mind your cats is a blessing.

I hope you all had a magical, relaxing, restorative Christmas. I did. And I saw Santa on Christmas Eve, he was cycling along outside Kells with a flashing light on his hat waving at the cars that went past. I leaned over  and beeped the horn twice to let him know we’d seen him in the pitch dark roads on the outskirts of the town. I was transported back in time to the Phoenix park on Christmas Eve nights, where as a child I watched from the back of the car for the sleigh’s silhouette to appear across the moon on our way home from my auntie and uncles house.

It’s good to feel like a child at Christmas, to extract a little of the childish magic we subconsciously mourn from a time of year that forces your head into the past and the future with such violence I always feel like there must be some assailant to fight. I looked into the mirror-covered decoration on my mother’s tree as I was leaving today and as always, wondered what new stories would hide behind those eyes this time next year.Equally I have thought a great deal about the past these past few weeks. My neck is sore from looking back and forward! At least in the womb of my parents house, so unaltered by time when the Christmas decorations are up, I got to escape a little, just floating in the present, stepping out from the glossy half-world of my thoughts.

Lookit, if you were expecting a coherent post from me after this long of not being able to write, you’ve typed in the wrong url! Such rambling, are you really sure you missed me?

It was a good Christmas though. All I needed it to be. Much love to you all, and thank you for the lovely comments and emails, as you well know, they always make me feel loved and lift my spirits.

yee weren’t anyway, but just in case you were a little. I’m going through some yucky stuff, can’t talk about it here. I will be back, it’ll just take a little while longer. Please don’t take my silence as my ignoring any of you, I simply can’t talk at the moment.

Hugs for you all, my friends,

Lou

I started a book today that I’m really enjoying. I knew I liked the author from another of his we read in college, The Buddha of Suburbia by Hanif Kureishi. Today I spotted Something To Tell You on the shelf and thought, sure I’ll just try the first page. Excellent stuff, lovely blend of thought provokingness, page turnerishness and titillation. Can’t beat a bit of titillation.

Tomorrow night is the big library Christmas party, as such I’m unlikely to be posting. The next day may be a similar write off.

I haven’t been brave enough, or arsed enough, to go back to the software for getting pictures off my phone. I’m not in the humour of needless irritations at the moment.

Benny’s watching Batman Returns, dear lord the over-the-topness of it, I can’t keep my eyes off the screen.

Happy weekend all, x

One of the nice aspects of my new job, and new hours, is the way my time off doesn’t feel like such a scramble to enjoy every last second. I had a day off today, as I do every week on a Monday, and I never once thought ‘oh no! back in tomorrow, quick, do something relaxing and pleasurable to make up for the shitty rest of the week’. I am thankful.

We went for a lovely drive to Mulach Mor, watching the peppermint and candy hues of frosty blue and pink rippling through the late evening December sky. Watched rain pouring on the mountains across the water, marvelled at the skeletal outline of the old gothic castle against the shadowy menacing form of Benbulbin looming out of the foggy twilight.

I took a few shots on the new phone, but, true to form the software isn’t recognising the phone. I’ll work on it. I also thought about taking the photos of the tree with the SLR but got distracted, repeatedly. I thought about it though, so that’s a promising start.

I know I’m not talking a whole lot at the moment, but it’s a funny thing, probably a winter thing, I find myself ebbing and flowing between happiness and worrisomness every day and most of what’s going on in my thinking space isn’t really ready for proper analysis yet. It is strange to be alternating between such happiness and fret so frequently though. Usually it’s just the shitty end of the scale, and a slightly less shitty state, punctuated by random super-happy days/nights/moments. Perhaps that’s the difference having an enjoyable job and a huge increase (I can’t think of a word for re-increase, upsurgence?) in human contact makes. As opposed to all of my previous jobs I actually like going in to my library and as opposed to the past year I find myself in much more contact with friends, and new friends, for various reasons. Maybe my depressed tendency’s are just trying to figure out what to do with this new happier set up. I dunno, bit late for mulling it here, and QI is blaring in my ear, and I just can’t ignore my lovely Stephen Fry.

Night all,

Christmas tree day! And what a beautiful tree it is too, photos to follow

Bugger all to relate about today. Oh, I made carrot bisque.

Yup.

Night, x

Woohoo! I made paneer for the first time tonight and it was delicious. It’s an Indian cheese, a little like cottage cheese minus the creamy bit. It’s made by boiling milk and curdling it with something acidic (lemon juice for me). You leave it for a few minutes to curdle then strain it in cheesecloth over a colander, give it a quick rinse with cold water and then squeeze the bejaysus out of it. I pressed mine for a while with my tofu pressing kit (chopping board with little draining rivets, kitchen paper, heavy bread board, Collins English Dictionary, several cans of tomatoes). Slice it into big cubes, lightly fry in shallow oil and toss it into some kind of spinachy creamy tomatoey Indian style sauce (I used the lentil one I made a few weeks back from the freezer). Team it up with some naans and rice if your feeling really hungry and you’ve got yourself a meal so good that Benny was making those ‘numm, uummm’ noises, lol.

Quiet morning in the library, the sixth of December, we’re pretty sure, possibly the seventh, are traditionally the day that people from the countryside in Ireland go down/up to Dublin to do their Christmas shopping. There’s  a holy day on the same day and generally, as far as me and Benny can remember, the schools get a day off in lieu of it. Perhaps they’ve stopped now. Anyway, I had a very quiet day which I guess may have something to do with the weekend that’s in it.

We also had a serious frost this morning, serious for here that is. -4 and a hell of a lot of scalding water to get the windows sorted on the car is serious for here. The roads weren’t actually all that bad though and the most dangerous thing on them was scared drivers driving at ridiculous speeds on completely thawed streets.

I need to start a new book. I’m nearly finished my Buddhist one but don’t seem to be able to will myself to pick it up. I think I burnt my head out with all of that a few weeks ago, now I just want a break, happy thoughts. I got Rory Mc Grath’s Bearded Tit a little while back, anyone read it, heard anything about it? I doubt it, but just in case.

Anyway, happy Saturday my friends, have a fun night, I plan too

x

He was on the Late Late tonight. His voice is otherworldly. I should add a video, but I’m afraid of the new wordpress layout and the potential pitfalls (tiredness being one of them).

Back to work today, glad to be back too. Things on my mind but nothing to write about.

On the plus side though, with my new phones video capabilities I hope to post a video soon, just have to tango de la muerte (sp?) with the ‘pc suite’ first.

Night, x

*Are those of you outside of Ireland and England hearing much about him?

I got a new phone today*, I have played with it all evening, it is so much fun I’m slightly dizzy and giddy. I’m not a big phone nut, I keep them til they die usually, so this is the first really shiny amazing phone I’ve had for years. There’s nearly nothing they haven’t thought of, and it’s beautiful.

Last night we went to a table quiz with my new library friend and his wife, we had great fun but only managed a crappy fifth place. Mind you, I was distracted drawing glasses and funny lips etc. on the picture round pictures. It’s the small things.

Benny wouldn’t give me back the laptop (wikipedia was misbehaving or something), so I’m writing this in a sort of pre-sleep stupor.

Bed…

* Mine is the black one if you scroll a little down the page of pics, for some reason I just found it the classier looking one, even though I usually love red things.